The Hidden Cost of High-Performance

In an ever-evolving world, it’s a given that men need to evolve with it to keep up. Performance is a requisite for showcasing talent and ability in order to merit one's ability in one's trade and profession.

But as for the real reason so many gay men are high-performing?
It’s not just talent.
It’s not just drive.

It’s survival.

When you grow up learning to hide who you are, you learn to get good at performing.
You master perfection.
You read a room before you enter it.
You become whoever they need you to be, to feel safe.

And over time? That performance becomes your identity.

We get praised for our polish,
But no one sees the pressure underneath it.

Yes, we’re brilliant.
But a lot of us are burned out.
Hyper-independent. Numb. Guarded.

High-performing? Definitely.
But at what cost?

What if you didn’t have to prove anything anymore?
What if success could feel like freedom, not survival?

That’s the shift I help men make.
From performance… to power.
From pressure… to peace.

- Elian Vale